Thread: Diary of a Newbie in Waiting!!!!!

Originally Posted by Triplee

Ges: Take a step back, both of you, look at your situation and see if you can't "suck it up" until the economy turns up. Jobs are getting harder to find and remember that in many cases, "last hired is first fired." Can you bite the bullet for a year (both of you) and take a rational decision instead of an emotional decision? I don't want to rain on your parade, but times are tough. Go easy girl, don't go jumping into water over your head right now.

Lee

I can't do anything until I sell my house, so there's time. Working for university is a little different from working in the private sector, though. Jobs are a little more secure. They usually make cuts in other areas before they actually make layoffs. But I'm guessing it will still be at least a year before we go anywhere. Luckily, the recession hasn't hit the plains states as hard as it has hit the eastern and western states. We may be looking harder at Colorado than anywhere else. Depending...

I spoke to our EEO officer yesterday about they way she's been treating me because it occurred to me there might be some illegal retaliation or harassment going on. He took a bunch of notes, but I'm not sure where that's going to go. But it doesn't solve DH's school problem.

Originally Posted by allgeeteredup

Ben is 19. His girlfriend, Elizabeth just turned 18, and Landon, Ben's son, just turned one on January 10. Ben has always felt that opinions, unless his own, should be kept to yourself. When he lived with us in the past, before Landon was born, we tried to get him to protect his rights as a father and he told us to mind our own business. Well, he lost his rights as a father on day two of Landon's life. Elizabeth's mother had a restraining order put on Ben under the name of Elizabeth, herself, and Landon. Ben has spent thousands of dollars getting his rights reinstated yet, he told us to mind our own business, through it all. He told us we didn't know what we were talking about. Yes, Ben is 19 years old and believes he is the only person who KNOWS what is going on in this world. He is extremely smart and has always been on the President's list for grades. Yet, he almost failed due to absences and being tarty. Yet, the school was out to get him. In his opinion, he shouldn't be bothered as long as his grades were good. Also, in the beginning of his senior year he was put in In-House Suspension for the first four months of school because he refused to color his hair back to a normal color. He had a white streak down the middle. School policy states that hair color cannot be distracting to others. Well, the principal felt his hair was distracting. Ben felt the principal needed a life. So, he spent the first four months of school in In-House Suspension. Ben is 19 years old and still feels everyone is wrong if they don't agree with him.

I love Ben. I want to kill Ben. But, I love Ben. I am not ready for the upheaval having Ben in our home brings. I guess Dewy doesn't understand that. Again, I guess I will be the one to bend and allow myself to be forced into a situation I do not want.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay. That felt better!

Love TLF's. It's like an efficiency apartment at bargain basement prices. We stayed in Bossier City, LA two summers ago and it cost us all of $35 per night. Last year we stayed at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma City and it cost us $41 per night. We will be staying on Altus AFB in Altus, Oklahoma and it will cost us $42 per night. Not bad.
Have a safe and wonderful trip. Drink a couple of DOTD for me.

Love ya Annette. You tell Tater I said this.......
It's peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you guys!!!!!!!

There's the Lorrie we know and love...

As for Ben (and I don't misunderstand your love for family, or the frustration that results), I kinda figured him for early 20s. Most "kids" that age know everything there is to know about stuff and we experienced folks need to stay out of it because we don't know anything about it. He's going to have to take his lumps and figure it out for himself. I predict he'll learn it by about age 25 or 26. Which doesn't really help you right now, when he's moving in and causing stress. I like the advice that somebody offered that you and Dewy need to get on the same page about the ground rules of his stay with you. And then if the rules don't apply, you both need to agree that he goes. It's probably going to be harder for Dewy to just kick him out. I don't know if he was divorced or a widower before you two got together but if he was a widower, it may be even more difficult for him to say no to Ben. Either way, good luck. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. Maybe he'll do some growing up while he's there.

Looks like the TLF prices have just about doubled from when I was staying in them, but they are still bargain basement, just like you said. Actually, the ones at the Air Force Academy aren't even efficiency-sized, they're like a regular apartment, if memory serves. And with a nicely decked-out kitchen. If we had known it was furnished with dishes and pots and pans, we might have brought in groceries. ... Nah!

If you ever get to Colorado Springs, you should stay there. They're wonderful. And so is Colorado Springs.

Originally Posted by allgeeteredup

Well, my day started off bad. I got up, got ready for work, went outside to get in my car and realized..... someone had broken into my car. I was so upset. Then I remember that Dewy had woken up in the middle of the night saying that he heard noises outside and loaded his pistol beside the bed and went to investigate. He didn't see anything but this morning when I went to get in my car, the glove box was open, the remote to the garage was in the back seat, and everything else had been rifled through. I was running late so I told Dewy I would call the Police once I got to work. Is it too late to report it? I am so ready to move out of our neighborhood. Since the fire, our neighborhood has been collecting a thug element, or at least, thug wannabe element. You know the type, pants around their knees, black clothing, hoodies over their heads so no one can see them, and everyone in the middle of the road refusing to move when you drive by. I hate it. I used to feel safe in my neighborhood. Not anymore. I am so glad we have dogs and that Faith will become vicious when she is protecting me. I don't know what Loki would do if I was threatened. I hope I never have to find out.

Oh well, gotta get to the grind of work. I have lots to do.

I will check in throughout the day.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Lorrie. Bad stuff just seems to follow you around. It makes for great stories (maybe you should start writing a book), but maybe we need to figure out how to turn your "karma" around. Or maybe that move to Altus is the right thing? I hope you have a good, productive trip this weekend. Having lived in flat and treeless most of my life, it's really not so bad. You just plant your own trees and learn to appreciate other things.

Originally Posted by Ddunn

Hello all....I have already been to bed, and am up, because i am off all weekend, and if i slept any longer, i would be up half the night tonight........so a 4 hour nap, and i am up..................

brrrr it isnt even 50 yet here in Sunny Florida...

If it isn't even 50.... how can you still call it Sunny Florida???? Let me ponder a moment on that one.... Gator Girl..... Sounds a little fishy to me....Well, my dear... when it's 50 here.... we party cause that's a heatwave!!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!Would you like to borrow my shades???????

Originally Posted by gesualdo

I can't do anything until I sell my house, so there's time. Working for university is a little different from working in the private sector, though. Jobs are a little more secure. They usually make cuts in other areas before they actually make layoffs. But I'm guessing it will still be at least a year before we go anywhere. Luckily, the recession hasn't hit the plains states as hard as it has hit the eastern and western states. We may be looking harder at Colorado than anywhere else. Depending...

I spoke to our EEO officer yesterday about they way she's been treating me because it occurred to me there might be some illegal retaliation or harassment going on. He took a bunch of notes, but I'm not sure where that's going to go. But it doesn't solve DH's school problem.

There's the Lorrie we know and love...

As for Ben (and I don't misunderstand your love for family, or the frustration that results), I kinda figured him for early 20s. Most "kids" that age know everything there is to know about stuff and we experienced folks need to stay out of it because we don't know anything about it. He's going to have to take his lumps and figure it out for himself. I predict he'll learn it by about age 25 or 26. Which doesn't really help you right now, when he's moving in and causing stress. I like the advice that somebody offered that you and Dewy need to get on the same page about the ground rules of his stay with you. And then if the rules don't apply, you both need to agree that he goes. It's probably going to be harder for Dewy to just kick him out. I don't know if he was divorced or a widower before you two got together but if he was a widower, it may be even more difficult for him to say no to Ben. Either way, good luck. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. Maybe he'll do some growing up while he's there.

Looks like the TLF prices have just about doubled from when I was staying in them, but they are still bargain basement, just like you said. Actually, the ones at the Air Force Academy aren't even efficiency-sized, they're like a regular apartment, if memory serves. And with a nicely decked-out kitchen. If we had known it was furnished with dishes and pots and pans, we might have brought in groceries. ... Nah!

If you ever get to Colorado Springs, you should stay there. They're wonderful. And so is Colorado Springs.



Poor Lorrie. Bad stuff just seems to follow you around. It makes for great stories (maybe you should start writing a book), but maybe we need to figure out how to turn your "karma" around. Or maybe that move to Altus is the right thing? I hope you have a good, productive trip this weekend. Having lived in flat and treeless most of my life, it's really not so bad. You just plant your own trees and learn to appreciate other things.

Dewy was twice divorced when we got married. Yes... I'm number 3 but then again, third time's a charm. Anyway, Dewy said he has loved me all his life so.... I guess I'm actually #1 as well???? Don't think about it too long, it will cause a headache!!!!!!!

Dewy and I are going to sit down with Ben and go over the rules. I got upset with Dewy last night because he tells me one thing and then conveniently forgets to tell the kids. It's frustrating. He tells me it's too difficult to watch them go through the hard stuff yet yells and rants that they won't listen. I try to put myself in Dewy's position but my son, Ryan, is making it on his own, and thriving, in Hawaii. He has no one to help him, no family and if he has money issues, he gets a second job. I'm so proud of him I can't stand it. On the other hand, Dewy's daughter Katie has decided that calling in sick is her new thing and has officially gone through four jobs in the last three months. And he wonders why she gets panic attacks. HELLO...... She has no work ethic. Maybe it's easier for me to be critical because I didn't grow up like that. When I saw 18 I had my own apartment, a decent job and paid for my own car. I then joined the army, which I believe every teenager should have to do, and have always supported myself. The only time I have ever moved back in with my parents was when my father became ill and my parents asked me to move to help take care of him. I left Savannah, Georgia, and moved to Lady Lake, Florida to help care for him. When he died, I moved out and got my own place again. I was a single parent from the time my son was 18 months (1987) until Dewy and I married in 2005. I have always taken care of myself. I feel that the only way they are going to learn is to let them fall. How can you pick yourself up again if you never hit the floor? It's a learning experience. I'm not saying to allow them to go homeless but don't be everyone's security blanket. There have to be consequences to our actions or we will never learn. His kids are not being allowed to learn.

Okay, off the soapbox and feeling guilty for not wanting Ben to move in. I just don't want to go through it again. I did tell Dewy that I am putting my foot down as far as Elizabeth goes (Ben's girlfriend and mother of his child). She will not sleep over at our house. The first time Ben breaks that rule and he is out!!!!!

Am I being too difficult? Unbending? Am I wrong to feel like this? I just know it doesn't feel good for him to move in. I honestly don't think Dewy ever took into consideration the fact that I flat out said NO to Ben's moving in. Yet, Ben is moving in. Oh well. At least it's Friday!!!!!

You are a strong woman, Lorrie. Life isn't giving you a lot of joy right now, but you have a firm grasp on what is right. This will see you through the dark days and into the light again.

You have friends here and you know you can vent anytime you need to. Chirk up and look at all the good things going on in your life as well as those that need a bit of work. Puts things into perspective.

You can vent anytime! Isn't that what friends are for?

As a divorced mother of two, my DH always said that I sometimes did things out of guilt, which was a very perceptive thing for him to say (their Dad was not a nice person) so I guess I tried to overcompensate sometimes. But one thing I would not stand for is not respecting their stepdad or the rules of the house, my house my rules, your house your rules! We all want to rescue our children (Lord knows I sure did) and I had to control myself (which is very hard to do!) but it seems to have worked out (at least for now). I cried alot of nights but my DH just kept telling what a good mother I was (felt like a horrible one) and it would work out, it did! Keep the faith and hopefully he will grow up sooner rather then later!

Originally Posted by allgeeteredup

Dewy's daughter Katie has decided that calling in sick is her new thing and has officially gone through four jobs in the last three months. And he wonders why she gets panic attacks. HELLO...... She has no work ethic.
I feel that the only way they are going to learn is to let them fall. How can you pick yourself up again if you never hit the floor? It's a learning experience. I'm not saying to allow them to go homeless but don't be everyone's security blanket. There have to be consequences to our actions or we will never learn. His kids are not being allowed to learn.

Am I being too difficult? Unbending? Am I wrong to feel like this? Friday!!!!!

Your right on the money Lorrie - no matter what age you are - you will never learn if you don't have to face the consequences of your actions.

yes, you are both absolutely right. I have two daughters , 21 and 27...........and i tell u what, they give me a run for my money...................

hey all........cooking supper here, but will check back in later....on the menu tonight...

Pork chops, red beans and rice, yellow squash and apple sauce...

Porkchops and applesauce.... isn't that swell!!!!!!!!

Okay..... name that show!!!!!!!!!!

Talking to all of you on this thread has really been chicken soup for my soul. It is so important to have people to talk to and.... let's not forget... a captive audience. I mean really!!!!! Where are you gonna go?????

Well, onto a new and wonderful subject.... my mother is now thinking of joining us on the AGUDF cruise November 8-15, 2009. I told her she could room with us and only pay the third person price but she doesn't want to be a burden on us and cramp our style so she is thinking of a 1A by herself. I think she heard me say something about Stubby being in the next room and that ran her off.... Gee, I wonder why??????? That's okay. At least I won't have to worry about her picking up older men and bringing them to our room. I guess the towel on the doorknob signal won't have to be used after all.....eeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I said that about my mother!!!!!