And here is the first installment



OFF THE COAST OF AUSTRALIA-- Well, here we are, sailing under sunny blue skies and sparkling water so blue it is bright cobalt. And we are having a great time.
I won't wish you were here, because the ship is jam-packed, mostly with Australians sailing up their own coastline. Frankly, there is little room for anyone else until after we leave Darwin in another couple of days. That will leave us Americans, Brits and a sprinkling of Japanese, French and Germans, many of whom have embarked on the whole world cruise of the Queen Elizabeth II. We are on board for only one 23-day leg.
Enjoying it I am, now. It is Sunday morning here on this side of the world. I had a good tbreakfast on white linen cloths. I have attended Mass. And I have a full day with choice of activities to look forward to.
The trip did not begin auspiciously. In fact, for the first 30-some hours it was downright hellacious. The flight to Chicago went without a hitch, but we had to get off on the tarmac and walk 100 yards into the terminal during a blowing snowstorm. Naturally, sinced we were headed into summer, we had left our coats at home.
The flight to LA was not too bad either. Half the plane passengers were heading to Sydney, as were we, to board the ship. We got acquainted with many of our fellow shipmates-to-be over the Western United States.
It was the third flight that was the killer. Fourteen hours in a packed plane. Fortunately we were in the front row, so we had some leg room. Unfortunately, we were flying at 30,000 plus feet, and at that altitude my cold-stuffed head was screaming. Also unfortunately, the movie selections were awful, but that didn't matter too much because our individual screen was acting up anyway.
I don't even want to talk about my experience at the /Sydney airport. Except to say the fruit do cornered me. I had forgotten the banana I had stuffed in my carryall perhaps to eat on the way. The Aussies are picky about fruit coming into their country and they have trained these darling little dogs to sniff it out. He tumbled all over my carryall, and the nice uniform with him said you have fruit in there, and I said no I don't and he said the dog says so and I said will open it then. And he did and -- those pesky little dogs don't lie -- confiscated the forgotten banana. Now he wrote me up and I had to go through a more formal customs check, just like any common smuggler, when I got the rest of my baggage.
That was not right away. Someone had grabbed my bag off the carousel, realized it was not theirs and set it aside. Everyone else was gone before I discovered it over against the wall.
Tired, frustrated, bleary eyed and stiff, I finally made my way into Sydney aboard the Cunard shuttle, to a downtown hotel, the Four Seasons, to await afternoon transfer to the ship. Fancy hotel. posh breakfast room. I ordered tea and toast and the white-gloved attendant brought me six kinds of toasted bread and rolls. The tea was hot and comforting until I got the bill - 26 Aussie bucks with tip, that is, about 18 American.
With hours to kill I walked out in the hot street to have a look, around. It looked pretty much like any big American city, certainly busier than Tulsa downtown on a weekday. Remember, it is summer kin this part of the world, and it was both hot and sultry. After drooling over some gorgeous opals with a price tag too much for my budget, I came across an old pub, open to the street. It said it was the oldest in the city, founded in 1788, a half-century after the British had sent in the first load of convicts to colonize this huge and empty continent. I perched on a high stool at a dark wood scarred bar that could have been the original, and order a pint of dark ale-- with stipulations.
I asked that the beer be cold and that I could pay in American currency.

"This isn't England;" the pert barmaid said. "We serve our beer cold."
"And this isn't America," she added. "We don't take Yankee dollars."
But a young man sipping h is ale nearby flipped her a dollar, and she built me a pint. It was cold and bitter, but the other customers were friendly and we chatted. Now this welcome was more like it.
They seem really caught u p in queues around here. Back at the hotel, we all queued up for the busses for the hot distance to the downtown pier where t Queen was reigning, right across that famous Opera House. We queued up for customs (second time in one day) and we queued up for boarding.
Then another disappointment. Our promised upgrade in cabin class had not come through, and we were ushered into the smallest little room we have yet had on four cruises on this ship. The only bright spot-- two huge magnums of French champagne chilling in silver buckets, compliments of the staff in recognition of our frequent sailing status. We would rather have had another dresser drawer.
And before we could catch our breath, they were announcing life jacket drill. We had to don those bright orange inflated vests and find our way up to our prescribed muster station.
OK, so here we were, tired and not too happy. But we took ourselves in hand. This was the start of what is to be a great vacation, and we are not going to let minor foulups spoil it.
So we grabbed one bottle of the bubbly and headed for the great dining hall to meet out tablemates for the duration. We planned to get our introductions off to a good start by sharing the champagne.
And so we did.

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